Slowly but Surely

My foot is getting better. I can now walk short distances and drive for about 20 minutes before my foot tells me I'm an idiot for trying. It's still swelling so I'm still icing and elevating but I hope to be back in the gym by next week.

Also, I've made the decision this week that I will be going back to Weight Watchers meetings. I've been doing it online and looking to blogs for support, but I feel like I need someone to talk to face to face. So we'll see how that goes. If there's a meeting later tonight I will go or first thing in the morning.

I've really got to gather my thoughts and keep positive. I refuse to let myself fail this time. Every choice I make matters good or bad.

Small(Medicated)Update

My medication makes me sleep a lot so I haven't really done much of anything. I've been keeping my eating pretty much in check mostly because these pills also make me sick to my stomach and I'm beginning to think I'm allergic to them. I will definitely remember for next time(God forbid) to ask for something else if I ever need it.

I honestly have been so committed to healing my foot properly I haven't left the house in a few days and I'm starting to get cabin fever over here! The muscle in my foot is still very sore and if I walk around the house too much it immediately swells and I have to sit back down. The doggies have been keeping me company as has my best friend Sam.

Hopefully I will be back to normal very soon! Sorry if I'm not making sense again, the medication is talking.

Not Gonna Get Me

I'm not going to get hung up on the fact that I can't work out because I can't use my foot.

Therefore I'm not going to look at the scale until my foot feels better.
I'm challenging myself to focus on how I feel and not the numbers for right now. So I'm going to set some mini-goals for the week and check in here as I go along.

• make sure to track everything that goes into my mouth good or bad
• avoid the scale because the numbers might be discouraging
• use my free weights at least three times this week while stuck on the couch

Once my foot is feeling better though I'm going to be switching gyms to one that's closer to my house. I think being able to walk to the gym around the corner will encourage me to go more. Since the gym I was at in NY was around the corner from my house and here in FL it's about a 20 minute drive.

Sorry if I'm not very coherent I'm on pain medication for my foot. Back to sounding like an intelligent human being soon enough.

Injured

Weight Update: I've lost 2 pounds this week for a total of 7 pounds in about 3 weeks just by slightly modifying what I'm eating and taking short walks with the dogs twice a day. Trying to steer more towards whole foods and making sure I actually squeeze my fruits and veggies in there. Honestly, I really want to take better care of myself. I've neglected my needs for too long. I've been feeling better since I started taking multi-vitamins daily and I have to get back to Weight Watchers meetings. The camaraderie really pushes me. I have had a slight setback though I know I'll work through it.

I was pushing my mom around the mall in her wheelchair and she backed up and ran my foot over last week. I thought I was totally fine but then yesterday my foot looked seriously swollen and bruised. After a quick trip to the Urgent Care today I thankfully have no broken bones or fractures but I did definitely strain a muscle in the bottom of my foot. I walked out with a fracture boot anyway to keep me from bending it when I walk pain medication and orders to keep off it for a week or two.

This sucks for several reasons. I was just getting back into my workout groove so I'll have to be extra mindful of what I eat for the next two weeks. I need to track more consistently and make sure I actually stay off of my foot so it heals quickly and I can get back to the gym.

I can do this.

I know how.

I just need to get my mind right and my body will follow suit.

Coming to Terms with it.

I have written countless blogs and not published them.

I have been selfish and kept my struggles and battles to myself.

Since I last wrote here I watched my Great-Aunt who was like a grandmother to me die through a locked door. I gained 40 pounds. I adopted another dog. I quit my job. My mom had knee surgery and we moved to a state we had previously never stepped foot in.

Suffice it to say I'm a bit of a mess.

I'm admitting here and now that I need to stop beating myself up for something I had no control over. That I need to stop eating myself into an oblivion. I need to be healthy. I need to be strong, because if I'm not who will be?

I need to go to therapy and I would like you to come on this crazy ride with me.

I can't promise I'll be perfect but I can promise to be better.